Determination and the Dragon (Redwood Dragons Book 4) Read online

  “Bullshit, Harlow,” Myles said. “You’re a smart girl, and a very hard worker, but if you aren’t willing to be a team player then what does it matter? This search for the dragon amethyst is so much bigger than just you and me. The future of the shifter and wizard worlds is hanging in the balance here, in case you hadn’t noticed. I’m sorry if it hurts your pride that you made a mistake, but I think you’d better swallow that pride and think about the bigger implications here. This isn’t just about you.”

  Myles had risen to his feet, and he was practically yelling at this point. He didn’t care anymore, though, about sparing Harlow’s feelings. Perhaps he’d been too impressed with her beauty and intelligence to see how whiny and self-centered she actually was. He still cared about her safety, and he would still do his best to protect her while she was here on this mission. But he was done walking on eggshells around her. She needed to grow up.

  To his surprise, she didn’t yell back at him. She stared at him in shock for a few moments, then stood slowly to her feet and laid the marked up map down on the desk.

  “I need to go,” she said quietly. “I think we’d better reschedule our little work session for later.”

  Myles would have yelled at her again, except for the fact that her voice had broken slightly when she spoke. She was obviously working very hard not to cry at the moment. He wasn’t sure whether he wanted to yell at her some more or take her in his arms.

  Damn it, Myles, he thought to himself. Didn’t you just tell yourself that you were done tiptoeing around her feelings?

  He didn’t have much time to ponder that question, though, because in the next instant she started running for the door, bursting into tears as she did. Before he could think about what he was doing, Myles grabbed her arm and held her back.

  “Stop,” he said, putting his body between hers and the door. He had his back to the door, and so was standing face to face with her now. She refused to look him in the eye as tears started spilling down her face, and Myles knew in his gut that these were not the tears of a whiner, or of a weak woman. These were the tears of someone who felt deep pain. But why, exactly? This must be over more than just a simple mistake on a map. Slowly, Myles reached his hand underneath Harlow’s chin and tilted it upward so that she was forced to meet his eyes.

  “What’s really going on here, Harlow?” he asked. She sighed, shuddered, and then cried some more. Myles waited patiently, not letting her look away. If it took all night, he would stay here until she talked. There was a blizzard outside and nowhere for them to be, really. He could wait. They both needed to clear the air between them if this mission was going to be a success.

  And failure was not an option.

  Chapter Eight

  Harlow desperately wanted to get her emotions under control, but the more she told herself to get it together, the more she seemed to fall apart. She wished Myles would let her escape, but he had made it clear from the way he was blocking the whole door with his body that he had no intention of letting her go anywhere until she told him why she was crying.

  The way he’d put his hand under her chin wasn’t helping things much, either. His touch had filled her with an intense warmth, and her heart was doing funny things in her chest. The realization that she still felt some sort of passion for him, despite the fact that they’d barely been on speaking terms for most of the time they’d known each other, only added to the confused mess of emotions swirling within her.

  She felt ashamed that he’d found such a blatant error in her maps. She’d tried so hard to make everything perfect, and she had failed. Not only that, but her failure had been discovered by Myles, the one person who she wanted to prove herself to more than anyone else.

  But why? Why did it matter so much to her what he thought of her? Was it really because she wanted to show him that she didn’t need his help? Or was it that she felt something deeper for him and was afraid to admit it to herself? Harlow didn’t even know herself anymore. But as she looked up at Myles, her chin trembling from his fiery touch, she decided that perhaps the best way to sort through this was to at least tell Myles what little she did know for sure. And so, she took a deep breath and began speaking.

  “I love Falcon Cross so much,” she said. “I’ve never told you this, but I’m an orphan, just like you.”

  Harlow saw Myles raise an eyebrow in surprise. He and all of the Redwood Dragons were orphans. They had lost their parents in a shifter war a few decades ago, and had all been rescued and raised by the same older dragon shifter.

  “I had no idea,” Myles said, his voice softening somewhat. “I’m sorry. Sometimes I forget that my clan is not the only one that has suffered great tragedy.”

  Harlow gave a little wave, as if to wave away Myles’ apology. “It’s ok,” she said. “My parents died a long time ago, so even though I still miss them, of course, the wound is not fresh. It was a freak accident, where a magic spell went wrong and killed my mom. My dad tried to save her, and the spell affected him in the process. I was part of a different clan at the time, and after the accident, no one would talk to me. They all thought I was cursed. I escaped, and ended up in Falcon Cross after meeting some Falcon Cross scouts in the forest. The scouts were kind to me, as were all the people of Falcon Cross. They took me in as their own, and I’m forever in their debt. Who knows where I’d be today if not for them.”

  Myles was quiet for a moment, staring at her and taking in everything she’d just said. Finally, he simply said, “Wow.”

  Harlow bit her lower lip, trying to keep it from trembling, but it was a difficult task. The emotion flooding through her was not easily contained. But she forced herself to take a deep, shuddering breath, and then continued.

  “I owe my life to Falcon Cross, and that’s why I decided to become an Advocate. Advocacy school required a tremendous amount of work, but it was the best way I knew of to serve the clan I love, and repay them just a little bit for everything they’ve done for me.”

  “Advocacy is a noble profession,” Myles said. “It’s one of the most prestigious jobs in the wizarding world. Even I can tell that, and I’m still pretty new at learning about the ways of wizards. But what does this have to do with being so upset about my coming with you on this mission? Or with being devastated by making a simple error on a map.”

  Myles dropped his hand from her chin now and leaned backward against the hotel door, looking expectantly at her as he waited for her reply. The fact that he had stopped making contact with her body made it easier to concentrate, but Harlow couldn’t help but feel a rush of disappointment that he was no longer touching her. She pushed away the feeling and pressed on with her explanation.

  “I’ve worked my ass off as an Advocate because I wanted to prove that saving me was worthwhile. I wanted to show the people of Falcon Cross that they made a good decision when they saved me. I’ve had a lot of success in my career—”

  “Yeah, you have,” Myles interrupted. “For someone as young and junior as you are at the Advocacy Bureau, you’ve been given quite an impressive array of assignments. Alfonso might be acting like a jerk lately, but he knows you’re a damn good worker. He wouldn’t have given you all of those assignments if he didn’t think so.”

  “I know,” Harlow said reluctantly. “But even though I’ve worked hard and been successful, I still haven’t managed to do anything that amazing. I want to do something spectacular. Something that will really show once and for all that I’m an invaluable member of Falcon Cross.”

  “So you wanted to find the amethyst records by yourself, to prove you could do it,” Myles said, finally catching on.

  Harlow nodded. “I thought that if I could do this one thing all by myself, that everyone in Falcon Cross would think of it every time they see me from now on. Instead of seeing the orphaned girl who had to leave her own clan for fear of a curse, they would see the top Advocate in Falcon Cross, who saved the village from the dangers of Saul’s army getting to the dragon amethyst first.”r />
  “But then I insisted on coming, so you had to share the spotlight,” Myles said quietly. Harlow could see understanding dawning on his face.

  She nodded miserably. “And worse, you found an error in my work. Sure, like you said, it was an easy error to have made. But it proves to me that I did need you, or at least I needed someone, on this mission to help me. I can’t, in fact, do it on my own.”

  “Harlow,” Myles said, his voice surprisingly soft as he said her name. The sound of it sent a rush of heat through her that was almost stronger than the heat from his actual touch had been. “No one is expecting you to do everything on your own. And I promise you, no one in Falcon Cross thinks that you need to prove anything to them. I guarantee you that when they look at you they don’t see a cursed orphan. They see a smart, capable Advocate who has already done great things for her clan.”

  “How can you know that?” Harlow asked sadly. “It’s a nice thing to say, but you barely know me. You haven’t been around that long.”

  “I didn’t have to be around very long at all to see that you are someone special,” Myles said. “I’ve heard nothing but good things about you. Everyone at the Advocacy Bureau talks about how smart you are, and what an asset you are to the team. I had no idea that your background involved becoming an orphan and being ostracized from your clan. You know why? Because it doesn’t matter. No one cares where you came from. They don’t look at you as someone who is less than them, or has something to prove. They look at you as one of the best Advocates, because you are.”

  Harlow looked down at her feet, not saying anything for a long time. She didn’t know what to say. Was it possible that Myles was right? Did the people of Falcon Cross think of her as one of them, and not merely as an outsider to be tolerated? Had she been worrying for nothing, and, worse, treating Myles poorly for no reason? She wanted to believe that what he was saying was true, but it was hard to know what to think right now. She wiped at the wet streaks on her face where tears had been falling, and finally looked up at the dragon shifter in front of her. He was waiting patiently, his deep green eyes looking at her with such an intensity that she felt sure he must be able to see right through her.

  “I…I guess I owe you an apology,” she said. “I don’t know if I can fully accept yet that people don’t see me as an outsider. But this whole situation has made me realize that I might be more sensitive about it then I should be.”

  “You’re definitely more sensitive about it than you should be,” Myles said, his eyes actually lighting up a bit with amusement.

  Harlow sighed, but cracked a smile. “Okay, okay. I’ve been too sensitive about what people might think of my past, and as a result I lashed out at you and treated you like crap when you offered to come on this mission to protect me. I’m sorry. In fact, for the most part, I’ve treated you like crap since the first day I met you. I don’t suppose we could have a do-over?”

  Myles grinned. “We can definitely have a do-over,” he said, then stretched out his hand. “I’m Myles, nice to meet you.”

  Harlow felt a rush of relief and happiness as Myles smiled down at her. “I’m Harlow,” she said, smiling sheepishly as she took his hand. “Nice to meet you, too.”

  “Harlow,” Myles said with a wink. “Now that’s a nice name. I have a feeling we’re going to be friends.”

  Harlow laughed. “I hope so,” she said, and started to pull her hand back from the handshake. But Myles gripped her hand tighter, and pulled her closer to him until their bodies were only inches apart.

  “Do you trust me?” he asked, his voice suddenly husky.

  Harlow blinked a few times, doing her best to ignore the way heat was flooding her body, radiating out from the hand that Myles was tightly holding.

  “I…I…” she stuttered.

  “Listen to me,” Myles said. “You’re damn smart. I know that. I know you have what it takes to find these records. But Saul’s army is dangerous. I’ll promise to trust you on where to search and how to sneak in for the records, if you trust me to protect you. Don’t push me away and act like you don’t need me. You do need me. We need each other if this mission is going to be successful.

  Harlow felt like she couldn’t breathe. Confessing her fears and shortcomings to Myles had felt like a very intimate thing to do, and now, with him standing so close to her and looking at her with unmistakable heat in his eyes, it was all she could do to squeak out an “okay.” Myles looked deeply into her eyes, searching. She did her best to meet his gaze, and to say with her eyes the things she could not seem to say aloud with her mouth.

  I do trust you, Myles. I need you. I know I can’t do this alone, no matter how hard I try.

  They stood there for several long moments, their breathing ragged and the air between them heavy with electricity. Harlow saw Myles eyes drop to her lips, and, for a moment, she thought he was going to kiss her. Her heart beat faster at the thought, and her entire body filled with so much heat that she felt like she was on fire. But then, he looked away, and stepped out of the doorway. The moment was over.

  “I know we planned to work now instead of getting dinner, but you look tired, and I’m starving. Why don’t we see what we can find for food and then call it a night. I know we need to work quickly, and that we’re under a lot of time pressure, but I think we’ll both be a lot more useful if we get some rest first and start fresh in the morning.

  Harlow wasn’t about to argue with that. “Alright,” she said. “Just let me go change and grab my purse.”

  Myles nodded, his eyes looking out the window toward the darkening sky and thickly swirling snow. “I’ll go ahead and warm up the car,” he said. “Meet me there when you’re ready?”

  Harlow nodded, and scurried off to her room, wincing at the frigid air that hit her face when she opened the door to Myles’ hotel room and stepped outside. She had brought plenty of thick winter clothing with her, but she hadn’t bothered to put any of it on for the short walk from her hotel room to Myles’ room. Now, she almost wished she had, even though the rooms were so close that she only had to be outside for a few seconds. The weather here was brutal, and, she had a feeling the work they were here to do was going to prove to be brutal as well.

  And yet, in the space of a few minutes, she had gone from feeling alone out here to realizing that Myles might turn out to be a good friend after all. He’d asked her to trust her, but what he didn’t understand was that she had already trusted him by sharing her fears with him. She felt strangely at peace, now that she had confessed her concerns.

  But she felt nervous, too. The idea of being alone at dinner with Myles sent a fresh round of butterflies fluttering about her stomach. Try as she might, she could not seem to fully shake the heat and excitement that had begun coursing through her body the moment Myles had first touched her chin.

  Perhaps this mission was going to be even more of an adventure than she’d originally thought.

  Chapter Nine

  Myles peered at the sticky, laminated menu that he held in front of him. The food seemed to be fairly standard fare for a diner in a tourist town. Nothing looked extraordinary, but all the basics were available. Burgers, chicken fried steak, salads, and similar dishes were on offer, and Myles scanned over the options several times before settling on a cheeseburger and fries. He hoped the meal would be decent, but it’s not like he had any other options. This was the only open restaurant in town, and even the lone grocery store he had driven past on the way here had appeared closed. When Myles had asked their server about it, the girl had shrugged.

  “It belongs to Old Man Jenkins,” she’d said, as though everyone in the world knew who Old Man Jenkins was. “In the winter, sometimes he shuts it down for a few days at a time just because he doesn’t feel like working. If you live here during the winter, you learn to never let your pantry get too empty. You never know when Jenkins will disappear.”

  This wasn’t good news for Myles, who had wanted to grab some fresh food before heading ou
t to try to track down Saul’s crew. He crossed his fingers that Old Man Jenkins would be in the mood to work tomorrow, but with the blizzard growing fiercer every second, Myles wasn’t holding his breath. The non-perishable food he and Harlow had packed in their duffel bags would probably have to do.

  The server was coming back with their drink order now—an iced tea for Myles and a Long Island Iced Tea for Harlow. Myles had raised an eyebrow when his dining companion had ordered such a strong drink, but she had merely shrugged in response.

  “The liquor keeps you warm,” she’d said.

  Myles had let it go, but he had a feeling it wasn’t warmth she was looking for as much as something to calm her nerves. She’d been a bit on edge since their conversation in his hotel room earlier, which struck him as a tiny bit odd. He would think that having come clean with her worries about her past would have given her a sense of relief, but the woman sitting in front of him right now, nervously tapping her fingers on the table in front of her, looked anything but relieved. Perhaps she was starting to worry in earnest about facing down Saul’s men, Myles thought.

  Myles himself was uneasy when he thought about Saul’s men. Myles hadn’t realized until they landed in Devil’s Melt a few hours ago just how deserted the place was during the winter. Any outsiders stuck out like a sore thumb, which means that Saul’s crew would have also stuck out like a sore thumb if they came through here. And yet, no one in town had mentioned another group coming through at any time this winter. It seemed to Myles that, as much as the townspeople here liked to talk about how remarkable it was that he and Harlow were visiting in the winter, they would have commented about it if another group had come through here this winter. But they hadn’t said a word, which meant one of two things as far as Myles was concerned: either Saul’s men had come in a different way and the townspeople had never seen them—a highly unlikely scenario since there were no other airports for hundreds of miles; or, Saul’s crew had been here, but had paid off the townspeople not to talk about them.